Paranoia at its finest
by walkingdisastersharkchild
Summary: Him? Paranoid? Never. He was just very, very concerned. sasusaku, AH/AU


**Been listening to 'Kiss Me Quick' by Amy Meredith more than once, and well, this isn't exactly _like _the song, but it kind of developed from the opening verse/lines.**

**AH/AU as Naruto is kind of a let-down lately. I must be one of the only people I know who are still reading it, in hopes that thing will take a turn (even a small turn) for the better. Ah well.**

**This seems really, really short. Like abnormally short. I swear it isn't, really. I think it's because I'm using a bigger computer with a bigger screen. But hey, that's cool.  
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**And, I've just realised how perverted this kind of is. Pat on the back for publishing so late, does wonders to the safety of unblemished minds.**

**Read and review, thanks. I don't mind a flame. Flames make me laugh.  
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**Disclaimer: No, it's all good. Take it, seriously.  
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He looked around the room quickly - _nervously_ - for any sign of old man Haruno. God only knows what the man would do to him if he found him within a foot - or _several inches_ - of his precious cherry blossom. Any traces that she had been ... _deflowered_ of sorts, and heads will roll. Mainly his, and possibly his brother's as it was his _stupid_ idea in the first place. Although, not so stupid _now_ but he wasn't going to tell him that.

The old man seemed to know _everything_ that he had done with Sakura, from holding her hand to the cliché make-out session in the janitor's closet. That was _really _only because she wanted that experience _once_ in her lifetime, and now happened at least three times a week, if not more. Not his fault though, as he wasn't always the one instigating this little stints, as Sakura was much, _much_ stronger than she looked, and seemed to be just as deprived. Not that he was complaining.

But the man just seemed to _know_, and whenever Sasuke rang, he answered _first_. Sakura never managed to make it to the phone first, even her mobile which was always _convenietly_ left somewhere for her father to get a hold of. Sasuke had never thought he would relive being an awkward thirteen year old ringing his crush, but each time the old man answered, Sasuke would get sweaty palms and stutter somewhat more often.

He only really stuttered when it was him and Sakura alone. But that was another matter altogether. One that really didn't need to be brought up in polite society.

Sasuke had a sneaking suspicion that the old man had his own suspicions about Sasuke and his _other_ activities with Sakura.

And he probably was in the right for having the right to know ... but like hell someone was going to tell him anything. Sasuke wasn't going near the man with the intent to tell him even with a ten foot pole, and Sakura would just sucker her way out of having to tell by batting those damn eyelashes of hers.

She had used those eyelashes on him yesterday, which had landed him here.

Well, _technically_, he had been over to help Sakura with some maths homework. It was going well, for an hour or so. But it had ended with some amusing doodles on the border of her binder, which followed to Sasuke proving his _anatomical drawing expertise_, which then somehow landed back onto maths.

_And that _had ended with a very _dirty_ equation and a very _pleasing_ end for the both of them ...

It went something along the lines of 'add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide your legs and multiply', but that was beside the _point_.

Still, he couldn't help the little thought at the back of his mind that old man Haruno would be home soon, and now that he _really needed_ a glass of water, and that his nerves weren't going to last much longer. He was going to die young. Balls.

Surviving the never-ending hallway in style, Sasuke quickly crossed the lounge to the kitchen, not without looking around of course. Looking behind doors, under the coffee table, behind a couple of paintings, the normal routine he had started since coming to Sakura's house. Not for anything in particular, as he figured if you just casually looked around, you'd find what you were looking for. Which worked for most things, but his logic didn't seem to be working here, of all places.

Paranoid? Yes. Protective of his life? Most definitely. And his family jewels, he liked those the way they were, thank you very much. He didn't want anyone interferring with them in anyway unpleasurable.

Chewing his thumbnail, he helped himself to a glass of water, chugging it down quickly and not minding the water that completely missed his mouth. Not like he was wearing anything - besides his boxers and jeans - that would get immense harm from water. It was only water, right?

Wiping away the droplets of water, he was wholly glad that no one was watching. His reputation would be ruined. He couldn't let that happen. He, Sasuke Uchiha, was afraid of his girlfriend's father, and allowed himself to spill water all over himself. Oh, god, it was being thirteen all over again.

Placing the glass upside-down on the drying rack carefully, he crept back up the stairs. It was still light outside, and that didn't help at all. He was half expecting to see a car in the driveway with old man Haruno sitting behind the wheel, with a pair of sunglasses and a gun pointed at him.

Shaking his head, Sasuke chided himself for paying attention to that stupid cop movie that was playing in the background when they were doing homework. The only scene he payed attention to, and it freaked him out.

His thumbnail was long gone, so he concentrated on the other as he threw a look over his shoulder.

Old man Haruno was just as paranoid as he was, he was sure of it. There had to be cameras _everywhere_. He was so _sure_ of it.

Closing the door to Sakura's room behind him, he turned to face her.

He thought of a horror movie as he turned around, and nearly screamed in delight as he only saw Sakura's form - albeit _naked _form - and no ghosts, or remains of the old man. He would have had a heart attack if it was something other than Sakura in front of him.

He settled for a satisfied grunt. Had to keep up that image, you know.

Sakura rolled over to face him, blinking him into clarity. She smiled and he shed the clothing he had hastily put on and climbed in beside her. Shocking her a little, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her flush against him.

It finally clicked for Sakura and she patted his cheek affectionately.

"He's gone for the weekend, Sasuke. Calm down already."

Sasuke grunted again, and couldn't help but peek out the window.

Coast is clear. All units go.


End file.
